Jumat, 12 April 2019
Draft 1
Bandung Events The Ocean of Fire is a major fire that occurred in the city of Bandung, West Java province, Indonesia on March 23, 1946. Within seven hours, around 200,000 residents of Bandung [1] burned their homes, leaving the city to the mountains in the south of Bandung. This was done to prevent Allied troops and Dutch NICA soldiers from being able to use the city of Bandung as a strategic military headquarters in the Indonesian War of Independence.
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Hi, Fifrans. Your writing is so simple but I like it. You used simple words and it makes the readers easy to read. I think you should make it longer Because the story of the event has not been explained in detail and you write just orientation, for the events and re-orientation you have not written, consider in writing recount text, Fifrans, there are generic structure in recount text and you should to remember it. Try to write it more detail, right. Keep writing, and edit this draft into DRAFT 1 (EDITED), you should edit or add more information about this events. :)
BalasHapus